Sunday, June 11, 2006

MBA or Post Operative Diagnosis Course ?

Its funny how we are in awe of something TILL the point we experience it.

I was never good in acads - its just that some things clicked at the right moments. Precisely, courtesy one of these moments I landed up @ SPJIMR
(Now, if u ask me what is that, then i can conclusively prove two things - one, you are not an MBA aspirant and two, there is still hope for you !)

I had this great idea about this MBA thing - ahhh, here is one course which is going to give me a 'holistic' education 'integrating' the different aspects of the business world intertwining the 'strategic' options of each 'vertical' as per their 'competitive advantages'. (Phew !! Yippeee !! I HAVE finally become an MBA - THIS is what I paid the 3.5 lacs for)

Now, there is no doubt about the utility of the course structure in a B-school. Thats all fine. But if you are to ask me "What have you learnt in the one year?" - Boy, I would be stumped and way off the crease !

What did I LEARN ??

Now, wait, where did this come from ? What learning ? I would have done a PhD if I wanted to LEARN ! Lets talk about salaries - thats what we are here for.

The fact is you don't learn in a B-school. It is a course which informs you about all the business cases which have been mostly successful, to let you be aware of the possible 'moments of truth' that they went through, so that in the unlikely event of you being exactly in the same position in a company where you will handle an important 'portfolio' you will be able to take the same decision without a moment's consideration. ( How about realism - thats what yyou are thinking, right ?)

Obviously, they don't teach you about failures (some do, but then there always are exceptions) Why ? Ahh, ridiculous it may sound but actually overheard that its all about being successful in life !! As if keeping my eyes shut will make the sun go away !

Coming back to the point - on the basis of what we learn we are incapable of taking and backing a decision, we cannot predict with any degree of certainty about anything, we are NOT encouraged to think differently (did I hear Marketing ?), we dress up exactly in the same way for the 'customers' to 'take' us on the D-Day and most importantly speak and talk exactly in the same language !

So why shouldn't I call this course - this 2 year crappy thing a Post Operative Diagnosis Course ? Its like I am trying to rectify a problem 105 years (see, thats what they taught me in Marketing - to use unusual numbers - apparently it lends credibility! ) after it HAS already being solved.

So, what's the point ?

The point is that all said & done MBA is a good crash course for which you pay a helluva lot to earn a helluva lot - there are no LEARNINGS only EARNINGS !

p.s: Someday, I would want to find out why a company gives us the salary which we seem to deserve !! That would be my corporate 'project'.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

What is interesting about you ?

This is a question which has bothered me time and again. Really, when some absolutely moronic professor, or a MBA smart-ass in HR from some high-sounding big-shot organization asks me this stupid question - i sometimes feel i should reply back saying "I am the most boring person I have ever seen, there's nothing interesting about me!"

I try to live under no illusions, and for the last 3 years to my utter dismay I can claim with some degree of confidence that I know myself pretty well-enough and from that I have not been able to pin-point what is interesting about me. In fact, the truth is that there is nothing ! But there are many things that interests me...like

I get interested when someone stands up for something against great opposition and takes the fight to the other side

I get a kick when I see that there still are people who believe in supporting what's right even though it may be commercially unviable

It interests me immensely when an European nation observes an anti-pollution day and not one single citizen takes out a car

I love it when really insignificant people stick it up to the powers that be

It gives me goosebumps to think that a movie can spark of a revolution

Barcelona and its people - isn't it marvellous to know that there still exists such places in the world who would not 'sell' what they love ?


My heart skips a beat everytime I see a Ganguly cover-drive or a Lara bashing or a rearguard Steven

I feel weak in the knees when someone whom I had not attached much importance to considers my opinion to be important and makes me feel special

I guess thats about it. Now, would you call this an interesting person ? I would not - on the contrary I would surely think that this is exactly a kind of person who would transform a perfectly well-lit, bright, brilliant day to a disaster, one who would philosphize, patronize at each and every conceivable opportunity - a perfect hypocrite knowing fully well that he does not have the guts to carry out what he believes in !

The opinion is for you to form and may it be closer to the truth !