Suddenly,like a bolt from blue, today I remembered my grandmother. The incredible lady that she was, I was just thinking whether I would ever find a woman like that. And more importantly, if I were to find such a lady, would I like to have her in my life. Paradoxically, the answer is no.
There are two reasons for it.
My grandmother was someone who would be happy with whatever you gave her, in fact, even if you had nothing to give she would not complain. Even for a moment. I find that absolutely revolting and inexplicable.She found that natural. I still remember her working relentlessly from five in the morning (err...those were different days when I woke up early !) and after a tiring day full of household chores would promise to play Ludo with us - three of her grandchildren. We would wait expectantly for the exciting post-lunch Ludo sessions. And not once, not once were we disappointed. Imagine, around twenty-five odd people to be looked after and not a grimace on her face. Happy and contended.
Now, how do I make a woman of that kind happy ? If I were to get someone of that nature in my life, I would think that it would be a great injustice to her. Frankly, I have nothing to offer to her that can contribute to her happiness. It implies that irrespective of my existence she would be happy ? Its too preposterous to believe that I may be the cause of that happiness. These people are seldom swayed by anything material. They are the columns on which rests the entire structure of a family. Now that I am old enough to understand some of the nuances of what 'expectation' is, what constitutes 'happiness', what we have to do to have a fulfiling life, I have this irresistible urge to ask her what made her happy. I am not quite sure that I would have had a concrete answer.
Some questions bother me. Always. And just the moment I think I figured out the answer, there would be a twist in the offing which would make all previous calculations redundant (sounds hopelessly like one of those Fin problems!) The perennial question that bothers me still is "What kind of woman would I want to live with"
The proverbial answer is "I don't know" (I think my dear friend SRK would be happy to see that finally an MBA has the guts to say this !) I am too easily bored, too easily irritated, too frivolous to be anchored, too attracted by other women(I discovered pretty late that I actually fall in love with every woman that I interact with!). Its impossible for me to love anyone over a long period of time. I am just not cut out that way. I find very little to speak about anything - am too lazy. Sometimes I don't even find a reason. And when someone keeps on talking when I am not in the mood, I am turned off. Just switched off. Instantly. All of this - they are the recipe for a perfectly cacophonous co-existence.
But, the only thing that keeps me ticking is an intellectually challenging conversation. If by a stroke of luck, I happen to meet someone who has that elusive streak, who would not really cave in - on the face of it, give it back to me as and when required and yet respond with passion, then it would be exhilarating. And I doubt, in fact, I am sure, that someone of my grandmother's nature would ever offer me that.
Somehow, I sort of understand what Souvik meant when he said "I am scared....of myself" !
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Ode to Sarcasm
Somehow or other whenever I speak, nowadays, I really have to try hard in talking straight. In a world, where subtliity is rare, causticism and acrebicism is not appreciated, even in humour, this is an issue. There are a very select few who would always talk back to me in the same language that I speak and its incredibly gratifying to have them around. Had it not been for them, I think I would have had no 'market' at all !
Had it not been for Prof. S.M. Fakih's almost irresistible sense of humour with a lace of sarcasm and instant wit, had it not been for Prof. V. Sivaraman's unique way of putting across things by always using a phrase "it is a good idea to..." instead of "you should do this..." in conjunction with his putting the left hand to his chin, had it not been for Prof. Sandeep Gokhale's astounding ability to make a perfectly mundane activity seem like the most interesting session ever conducted on the face of earth, had it not been Cyrus' (yeah, the MTV guy and NOT the Sahukar one) whacky completely non-sensical comments - life would not have been half as interesting as it appears to be.
Of all the people that I have heard in my life, in terms of ability to invoke a smile even in the most hopeless of times, I think these would, any day be at the very top. I am particularly impressed by the way they express their indignation when something presposterous is thrown at them. All of them - ALL seem to revel in such a situation. And if you happen to give it back to them, the marginal enjoyment of that far exceeds any other 'interesting' conversation that you have had with anyone else.
Contrary to the general trend, these people 'look' pretty ordinary but the moment they start to speak, you realize that you are into something special. To me, life is not about making money, neither it is about being a top-notch business executive and most definitely not about 'networking' ; its about these electrifying moments which are addictive and which are memorable in their very own way.
(By the way, is there a message in there, that all the profs mentioned above are related to Finance ? And 'they' told me that the Marketing guys are the most interesting !)
Coming back to my love for un-straight comments ; this has I think grown as time has passed by and assumed significant proportions after my entry into SPJIMR. As with all other things in life, there is a reason to this as well. It over here that the zzombies are awake the moment a pun is round the corner, that SRK's tomfoolery is enjoyable, the comfortably dumbs are uncomfortable keeping quiet, a monk thinks about owning a Ferrari and dreams about a Renault actually !
I remember the day about a month back when I had this debate with my roommate about the uniqueness of each individual in our batch and I had no inkling of an idea that I was spot on. I really do not believe in destiny, but I have no substitute for that word. How else would I explain this chance encounter with people who sort of understand which language you are speaking and more importantly respond in the same, seldom taking offence for the liberties I take with them?
I am sure, beyond a shadow of doubt, that had it not been for the way WE talk, it would have been impossible for us to be friends. It is at these times, I curse the schedules of a B-school (though for me it hardly makes a difference !) which leaves us with very little time to get to know each other better.
The very thought of having a completely sarcastic day is giving me goosebumps and knowing the others, it would not be a bad guess to say that they are feeling the same !
Had it not been for Prof. S.M. Fakih's almost irresistible sense of humour with a lace of sarcasm and instant wit, had it not been for Prof. V. Sivaraman's unique way of putting across things by always using a phrase "it is a good idea to..." instead of "you should do this..." in conjunction with his putting the left hand to his chin, had it not been for Prof. Sandeep Gokhale's astounding ability to make a perfectly mundane activity seem like the most interesting session ever conducted on the face of earth, had it not been Cyrus' (yeah, the MTV guy and NOT the Sahukar one) whacky completely non-sensical comments - life would not have been half as interesting as it appears to be.
Of all the people that I have heard in my life, in terms of ability to invoke a smile even in the most hopeless of times, I think these would, any day be at the very top. I am particularly impressed by the way they express their indignation when something presposterous is thrown at them. All of them - ALL seem to revel in such a situation. And if you happen to give it back to them, the marginal enjoyment of that far exceeds any other 'interesting' conversation that you have had with anyone else.
Contrary to the general trend, these people 'look' pretty ordinary but the moment they start to speak, you realize that you are into something special. To me, life is not about making money, neither it is about being a top-notch business executive and most definitely not about 'networking' ; its about these electrifying moments which are addictive and which are memorable in their very own way.
(By the way, is there a message in there, that all the profs mentioned above are related to Finance ? And 'they' told me that the Marketing guys are the most interesting !)
Coming back to my love for un-straight comments ; this has I think grown as time has passed by and assumed significant proportions after my entry into SPJIMR. As with all other things in life, there is a reason to this as well. It over here that the zzombies are awake the moment a pun is round the corner, that SRK's tomfoolery is enjoyable, the comfortably dumbs are uncomfortable keeping quiet, a monk thinks about owning a Ferrari and dreams about a Renault actually !
I remember the day about a month back when I had this debate with my roommate about the uniqueness of each individual in our batch and I had no inkling of an idea that I was spot on. I really do not believe in destiny, but I have no substitute for that word. How else would I explain this chance encounter with people who sort of understand which language you are speaking and more importantly respond in the same, seldom taking offence for the liberties I take with them?
I am sure, beyond a shadow of doubt, that had it not been for the way WE talk, it would have been impossible for us to be friends. It is at these times, I curse the schedules of a B-school (though for me it hardly makes a difference !) which leaves us with very little time to get to know each other better.
The very thought of having a completely sarcastic day is giving me goosebumps and knowing the others, it would not be a bad guess to say that they are feeling the same !
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