India has already won the 2011 World Cup. Here is why:
MS Dhoni
The greatest captain India has ever had. That day he started India's bowling with Irfan Pathan and Sreesanth ! Now, if that is not a mark of ingenuity then what is ? I mean, have you ever even heard, let alone contemplated, of a captain starting the innings with his two premier fast bowlers ?! And wonder of all wonders, he even had 2 slips in the first five overs! So aggressive - after all that is what won him the T20.
Gautam Gambhir
India's next Sachin Tendulkar. He actually hits a delivery which is short and wide and deserves to be spanked on the backfoot and cuts it over point for a four. Mark of unhindered brilliance. Of course, he learnt it in his T20 days when he played "without fear". In case you are wondering how Sunny Gavaskar played his game - he was afraid. Dead scared. Remember, his fear got the better of him and he could only score 36* in 60 overs. Ah, the other 10,000 does not count for much. Only that 36 is sufficient for crucification.
Rohit Sharma
India's next Sachin Tendulkar. Oops ! We cannot be THAT lucky ?! Two Tendulkars in one team. Sorry, 3 including the 'real' Tendulkar. Then, we have 3 best batsmen in our team. And I cannot see the requirement of any other batter in the team at all. Ask Ravi Shastri, he will ask you to play 7 bowlers with them. Ohh, Ian Chappell says that Rohit is a combination of Sachin and Lara. Wow ! Now, I know what 2-in-1 means !
Ishant Sharma
Had it been the British media, by now, he would have been hailed as the next Ian Botham. Funny, why no one has compared him to Kapil Dev, till now. Ohh, could be because he is better than him. See, he is quicker than Kapil and he is able to lift it up(the ball, I mean!) from just short of a length (Ravi Shastri says it). Plus, Ricky Ponting is his bunny. And considering that Ricky is one of the best in business, Ishant has to be better than Kapil. Kapil never had Richards as a bunny, you see.
Yuvaraj Singh
India's best test player. He should be drafted into the team at the cost of Rahul or Sourav or even Sachin. Blasphemy you would say ? Naah. He is such a sweet timer, he is at the form of his life and his FIELDING ! Dear o dear, how can you not have someone in the team if he saves you 15 runs ? Even if that is his collective score in 6 test innings ? We are focussing on the future and youth is the future.
Err, just a question. How old is Manmohan Singh and L.K.Advani? Chuck them, NOW. And make Sachin Pilot the standing-in-PM. Or Rahul Gandhi. Shucks ! Our obsession with Rahul and Sachin is just not limited to cricket!
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Matrimonial Skirmishes - Part 2
My partner should be understanding, good-looking, tall, dignified, professionally well-settled, caring, honest and possessing a good sense of humour! (Someone please give her a thesaurus - at this rate she will run out of adjectives!)
Now, lets get to the requirements one by one. This is what a young woman of today wants in her partner in her words.
Understanding:
The guy has to be understanding - in the sense that he must know when to shell out the bucks for shopping, implicitly know when my mood is off for something which has happened 15 days ago and which at that point seemed completely immaterial and was safely consigned to history.
Good-Looking:
Nothing short of Leonardo Di Caprio would do. A George Clooney - ok, worthy of consideration for a full, attentive five minutes but for a Matt Damon - just a casual shrug. What the hell - can't I even have a Di Caprio?! Of course, madame, for that you need to be at least Julia Roberts!
Tall:
Six feet. 5'11" ?!!! You got to be kidding. So what if I am barely 5', can't I even aspire for a tall handsome bloke inspite of compromising for a Matt Damon?!
Dignified:
Basically, he should never tell me he loves me. I mean, he should tell me but not in words. You can't be too obvious about something as precious as love. And he should stand up for his own when we are at loggerheads but he should at the same time finally do what I want. I can't seem to understand why THAT is so difficult.
Professionally well-settled:
What?!!! He does not even earn a million bucks a year? (relax, in Indian currency terms - c'mon they are not inconsiderate!!) How on earth are we supposed to live with less than that? And he does not have the opportunity to go abroad?!! Does he work at all?
Caring:
He must tell me whether purplish-olive green suits me more than magenta-orange when we go out for shopping. And don't tell me he prefers not to come for shopping ! Thats like depriving oneself of the most exhilarating, intellectually satisfying, orgasmic pleasure known to mankind. AND he must have a ready database about the number of shoes I own, the number of handbags and laud me for not buying the 25th pair of either one last Monday!
Honest:
He should always speak the truth. There is only one truth - I am the only woman he looks at, I am the sole reason for his existence and whatever be the time of the day I look ravishingly beautiful. Any other opinion would be construed as a blatant disregard for my sentiments which would render him to be insensitive and hence un-caring.
Good Sense of Humour:
He should make me laugh. Apparently, that is the only thing a woman wants (Read this). Looks like all women are paid a royalty by marketing companies for popularizing Khushwant Singh's jokebook.
All you bachelors with no girlfriends or with no possibility of having one - well, resign yourself to fate and to the basic tenet of Hinduism - that of nirvana. There is only one slogan for you - "Sab Maya Hain". And before your mind wanders off, Maya is not a girl I am talking about!
Now, lets get to the requirements one by one. This is what a young woman of today wants in her partner in her words.
Understanding:
The guy has to be understanding - in the sense that he must know when to shell out the bucks for shopping, implicitly know when my mood is off for something which has happened 15 days ago and which at that point seemed completely immaterial and was safely consigned to history.
Good-Looking:
Nothing short of Leonardo Di Caprio would do. A George Clooney - ok, worthy of consideration for a full, attentive five minutes but for a Matt Damon - just a casual shrug. What the hell - can't I even have a Di Caprio?! Of course, madame, for that you need to be at least Julia Roberts!
Tall:
Six feet. 5'11" ?!!! You got to be kidding. So what if I am barely 5', can't I even aspire for a tall handsome bloke inspite of compromising for a Matt Damon?!
Dignified:
Basically, he should never tell me he loves me. I mean, he should tell me but not in words. You can't be too obvious about something as precious as love. And he should stand up for his own when we are at loggerheads but he should at the same time finally do what I want. I can't seem to understand why THAT is so difficult.
Professionally well-settled:
What?!!! He does not even earn a million bucks a year? (relax, in Indian currency terms - c'mon they are not inconsiderate!!) How on earth are we supposed to live with less than that? And he does not have the opportunity to go abroad?!! Does he work at all?
Caring:
He must tell me whether purplish-olive green suits me more than magenta-orange when we go out for shopping. And don't tell me he prefers not to come for shopping ! Thats like depriving oneself of the most exhilarating, intellectually satisfying, orgasmic pleasure known to mankind. AND he must have a ready database about the number of shoes I own, the number of handbags and laud me for not buying the 25th pair of either one last Monday!
Honest:
He should always speak the truth. There is only one truth - I am the only woman he looks at, I am the sole reason for his existence and whatever be the time of the day I look ravishingly beautiful. Any other opinion would be construed as a blatant disregard for my sentiments which would render him to be insensitive and hence un-caring.
Good Sense of Humour:
He should make me laugh. Apparently, that is the only thing a woman wants (Read this). Looks like all women are paid a royalty by marketing companies for popularizing Khushwant Singh's jokebook.
All you bachelors with no girlfriends or with no possibility of having one - well, resign yourself to fate and to the basic tenet of Hinduism - that of nirvana. There is only one slogan for you - "Sab Maya Hain". And before your mind wanders off, Maya is not a girl I am talking about!
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