My first brush with him was when I was twelve. Way too young to even understand with intensity any of the emotions he could invoke. Yet Abhas Kumar Ganguly or known to most as Kishore Kumar has had a profound impact on my early years.
I was besotted by the haunting aspect of his voice and was completely taken in by his ability to transform the mood I was in just by listening to him.
Koi Hota Jisko Apna...
Aye Tum Yaad Mujhe...
Kiska Rasta Dekhe...
Yeh Laal Rang...
These were my favourites. In the next 3-4 years, not an evening would be spent without my Philips two-in-one blaring his songs. Mother would just not figure out why I would listen to such tragic and fatalistic songs ! Of course, in that there was a reason. And as in most cases, the reason was a woman. That is however, another story for another day.
Today, I cannot quite fathom why I loved those songs. The only word that comes to my mind is 'inexplicable'. I do still remember the context but what I find absolutely deplorable or incomprehensible is what is it that appealed to me so much about them then and what is it about them that I am indifferent to them today ?
The answer is not in the songs. Maybe the answer is me. An unfortunate and sad fact of life is that I have grown up. And though I am still every bit the hopeless romantic at heart, I cannot by any stretch of imagination feel anything when I hear these songs.
It is a love story gone sour. We are still friends and we will always be, yet somewhere we have lost a chord. While there are still many such nuggets which tug at my heart, but that is nothing compared to the passion we shared. Maybe, this is how it was meant to end. That I be replaced as the most obsessive follower by some other 15 year old of the day and me looking back and wondering how I could have loved so much.
15 years - that is what it took for me to lose one of the most endearing part of my childhood.
