Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Two Sides of the Same Coin

Scenario 1

Boy says to Girl: I have to talk to you about something important. Can we meet tomorrow at 6 pm at the Cafe Coffee Day?


The two interesting aspects out here. The specificity and the planning or the degree of detail with which this statement is made is the hallmark of any Boy.


The Boy is madly in love with the Girl, or so he believes and is desperate to tell the Girl. Most importantly, and incredibly strangely he is acutely aware that the answer is most likely going to be a confused but confirmed “No”. In such cases, it can surely be statistically proven that the answer would be somewhere in the lines of “Whaaaaaaaat? HOW can you even THINK about it? You are a very good friend of mine. But I have never thought of you as someone else !!”

Post Meeting:

Boy comes back with a bewildered face which gives you the impression that the entire responsibility of the well-being of the world is on his broad shoulders. He tries to find out what the statement actually means and what is it that made him just a “good friend” and not something else. And he keeps on thinking about this for the next “x” number of years.

Scenario 2

Girl says to Boy: It has been a long time since we have talked about something serious.

Boy responds: Ahh. But we talk all the time (meaning you talk all the time and I just listen!! You want more of that ?)

Girl counters: Yeah, we JUST talk all the time. But we need to sit down and discuss.

Boy: (By this time, in cold perspiration at the impending doom) Ok, can we talk over the phone? I mean, if its just for talking, we can chat over the phone, can’t we?(blabbering now incoherently) I mean the telephone was discovered because people could talk.

Girl: (Exasperated) Don’t you think we should meet up?

Boy: Ok. When and where?

Girl: Any place. I am ok with anything.

Boy: Ok. 6 pm at CCD then tomorrow.

Girl: 6 pm is a little too early and tomorrow is impossible. My maternal aunt’s paternal uncle is coming over tomorrow! And CCD!! You do have a horrible choice!! How about day after at the Barista?

Boy: (Wondering why Barista is a better choice than CCD!) Yeah, fine, and at what time?

Girl: Ohh...say about 6-30 pm?

Boy: (Now completely at a loss!) Ok. See you there.


How the Girl finally had her way. Right from the start. To the end. And the complete utter absence of the word ‘planning’.


Serious issue. Damn serious issue. Girl is in love with the Boy. Boy, as is evident, fully understands this and is not too keen to meet. Again, the sense of the answer would be the same but the way it is presented would be a little different. “I don’t love you. I am sorry but there is nothing I can do.” To the point, insensitive, no candy-floss KJo type of melodrama and no “I don’t want to lose you as a friend” dialogue.

Post Meeting:

Girl comes back, eyes all swollen. A family meet is called and mom and Dad get to know about the whole affair. Within a day, all of Girl’s friends get to know about this and almost all of them in their next meeting with the Boy gives him that “You-mean-insensitive-senseless-heartless-creature” looks.

A Month Later:

Boy meets Girl.
Arm-in-arm with another Boy!

Monday, September 18, 2006

A Week Of Broken Hearts

It hurts, you know, it hurts like hell !

And there is nothing you can do about it. In spite of being rational, being practical and all that, finally emotion wins. A battle we know we will lose even if we have the armoury to win against it.

This post will be a queer one. I can already sense it.

I have stopped looking for answers to all my questions - most of which are rhetorical in nature and yet, life comes to me like a punctuation and compels me to revisit those questions from time to time. And again, I have no answers. Actually, the answer is that I have no answer.

The last week has been strange. Pretty eventful. Well, for once, I was not at the centre of all the events. Though, it did not affect me any less. Somehow, there is always a tug at the chords of the heart for people who matter. Even when you are as objective as one can get. Or would cynical be the right word ?

Three affairs. All over. A grinding heart-wrenching full-stop. And to three wonderful people I have known. And I am helpless, that in such times I cannot do anything but listen. Only listen. I have no other option. It is ironical that the words dry up when you need them the most. Everybody betrays at precisely the right moment. Even the words. Its frustrating. The point is whatever I say, would not make sense, would not help. Yet, I can identify with them no end and I can only tell them things that I have learnt when faced with such things knowing fully well that people only learn it one way. Experience.

How I wish, for once, that I could be a little more empathetic, how I wish I knew what to say, how I wish I could feel, how I wish I could tell them "Yeah, I know, it hurts - like hell !"

Friday, September 08, 2006

Just and Fair

Sometimes I think she was right. Actually as my friend would correct me always, at most times I think she was right. We were actually not meant to be. Its funny how certain phrases stick. Through thick and thin. How they unconsciously create an impact.

It has happened to me throughout my life and never ceases to amaze me and the people around me. Strange, but I somehow seem to remember the most idiotic things - said and unsaid. The problem with the unsaid things are that you can never be sure(to which my friend again would reply in his typical acerbic tone and sleepy eyes "Its so profound!!") And the problem with the said things are that, well - they are said.

It is always possible to recognize happiness when you see it or hear it. The person changes. I had seen that before on one occassion but this was quite revolutionary. Considering the fact, that she never knew HOW to be happy. And I am pretty sure, I can never make her THAT happy - even if I lived a million years. Which is what makes me realize that she was right.

Its again funny, when you look back at things which you felt at some time to be incredibly important, you wonder WHAT was in it that was so great. And you simply laugh at your own predicament, embarrassed by your own stupid actions. Or inactions.

Somehow, miraculously I have this habit of going for the wrong things. If I were an
investment banker, I can just shudder at the thought of the state of the company. Anyways, I am sure that we would have made a wonderful couple. Now, this "we" and the other "we" are different - of course !!

When we have this conversations nowadays, about things - in general, about crap and all, I sort of understand the price of inaction.What was I thinking? The answer is I was not thinking - which has somewhat become a trend with me nowadays.

Opportunity lost. Regrets? Ah, sometimes (This time STRICTLY sometimes!)

A moonlit night on a sandy beach, a boat in the distant sea is too attractive a thought to let go. Life is absolutely fair and just. You always realize the best things only when they are past you.