Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Matrimonial Skirmishes - Part 1

Case One:
What is your designation?

What do you do?

No,no, what exactly do you do?
Err, I solve business problems.

No response.A blank expression is waiting to greet you. I never thought that explaining what I do would be so much of a problem. The prospective in-laws, in their effort to understand whether I work at all and how much I earn and what are the chances of their beloved daughters getting to try her luck at a casino in Vegas start off with this questionnaire. And I flop, again, repeatedly, time and again. Without remorse or repentance.

I am pretty sure that the impression I give them is that I don't draw a salary at the end of the month and most likely their daughter would end up at one the harems of Arabia and be the subject of a book to be written 15 years hence.

Case Two:
Which company does he work for?
Chainalytics Services Private Limited.

Chainalytics = Chain + Analytics (MY mom, exasperated and trying her best to hide it!)

Is it a software firm?
No. It is a consultancy firm.

Silence. After the exchange of a few pleasantries, the conversation ends. And my mother asks me to join a software firm ! And I, am convinced beyond doubt that I made the greatest mistake of my life going for a MBA. You see, the software industry being India Shining's mascot has great asset value in the matrimonial market and not been part of the bandwagon is seen here, in this market, as a disturbing trend.

Whoever said that a weak dollar is hurting India? And whoever said that the software market is a commoditized market now?

There was one response which was kinda reassuring. The person said "Oh, even my daughter is in consulting - she works in a placement agency." Finally, someone who KNOWS what consulting is !! Such knowledgeable people !

Shit! I had an offer from HCL Tech. !

Monday, December 10, 2007

What they say MIGHT not mean what they mean

What is said:: You are looking so young and fresh.
What it means:: Earlier you used to look like a haggard, nowadays you are barely tolerable.

What is said:: You are very good guy.
What it means:: You are a complete moron. And that is why you are lagging behind and you will continue to do so for times to come.

What is said:: YOU don't have a girlfriend?
What it means:: Thanks for reinforcing my faith in God.

What is said:: You deserve the best. Just wait for the right girl.
What it means:: Can't you even see that you getting a girl is more than what you can ask for? The fact that there is someone out there for you is enough of a gratification for you. Be happy knowing that.

What is said:: You are such a charming fellow.
What it means:: You ham people to death. Sometimes we feel like paying you to stop your blabber.

What is said:: You write so well!
What it means:: Please do not waste paper and please refrain from cluttering up the net with your useless rants. There is enough shit out there already.

Righto !