Friday, August 31, 2007

Et All...

Dreams are dangerous. If I had power, the only good service I would have possibly allowed myself to indulge in would be to strangle the dreams of the world. There is simply no point in wondering what could be when what is does not paint a rosy picture. In fact, if it does paint a beautiful canvass then all the more reason not to think about any great stuff since by law after every great time you have you are bound to have a pretty lousy time. So just enjoy the moment and shut the fuck up !

But there is one inescapable fact of life. Its exhilarating to daydream. I mean, by now, I must have scored at least 10000 test runs with consecutive centuries at Lord's and Eden and must have shot all the communists out there and danced with Salma Hayek and Catherine Zeta Jones innumerable number of times.

In my dreams !

And that why they suck. You have to be out of it at one point and thats when it hits you that, well, they were dreams.

There is one more thing I would like to shoot down if I ever have the opprtunity. The question "whats happening in your life?". Really, in recent times, no other question has bothered me more than this one. I sort of squirm when I hear that and nowadays I even have the premonition that its coming (the question, I mean!) and it starts to tickle me. To me, that is a helluva stupid question.

What is there to happen?
Why should anything happen?
Why should I want anything to happen?
Even if I want something to happen, why should that happen?
The fact, that I might want something to happen ensures it will not happen!

I am an incurable optimist. How else could I explain my commitment and undeniable, stupid fetishness to perfectionism being fully aware that I would be successful 2 out of 8 times, at the max on a perfectly fine, sunny day, 3 out of 7?

If THAT is not optimism, then, what is?

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

For tomorrow

Of all the posts I have written so far, this would be the first of its kind. And I am a little unnerved by the prospect of writing something which I am not comfortable with. I have serious reservations about this since I am sure that most of my friends would be equally unnerved and to some extent perplexed by this.

I am happy.

This, is, a transient state. No doubt about that. Before you all start barking mythological philosophies and philosophical discourses about all feelings being transient and life being all about moments and how to seize the moment and strike it when its hot (or hard ?!) I assure you, I AM aware of all that. But for the moment, I am happy.

Now, DON'T ask me why. I, myself, am perplexed no end. I am not a depressed sort, never been one, except for a brief phase in my life, many a winter back and I can safely say that, that was an aberration. There is not a reason in this entire universe which could have transformed my perspective from cautious optimism and confident pessimism to a feeling of utter, carefree, boundless enthusiasm.

Or so I thought! And as with many other cases, I was wrong.

This weekend I went to the best city of India (no, its not Kolkata and I am a wee bit sad about it) to meet up with friends and my two and a half year old niece. Looking at her, I realized why it is necessary to have kids (apart from the usual reason of they being a part of me and my loved one!). It is unbelievable, the amount of pristine joy they can provide and how just by dint of being themselves they are perfectly capable of making you feel on-top-of-the-world. Pure, unadulterated joy.

When you come back home after a gruelling day at office, feeling all lost and tired, then that little bundle of energy, without a care in the world, oblivious to your tirade against the mad, bad corporate world, comes running to you - that feeling cannot be recreated or fabricated by anything else - not even by a hopeless session of passionate, tender love-making, let alone a Ganguly cover-drive, a Rafa-Fedex duel or a Kurosawa creation.

The fact that for someone, whatever you say, makes sense, the fact that, to her you are the world, the ludicrous assumption that whatever you say is right and there is no other supreme being, the exhilaration that is evident when she says the most mundane thing to you thinking that to be of greatest importance makes everything right at the end of the day.

And I guess, that is what makes people look forward to tomorrow. If tomorrow comes.