Burning Fingers

I have hardly learnt from my mistakes. And I seriously doubt whether I ever will. But for some strange inexplicable reason, I cannot seem to do things otherwise.

Actually I refuse to play by the rules of the game. Specially when it comes to a woman. There are strict guidelines to adhere to. Certain things are acceptable while certain things would surely spell disaster. Naturally, I have an affinity for beckoning disaster.

The first and cardinal rule of the game is that you should never reveal your cards till you are sure of a win. Experience has taught me that this is something I should not try much to experiment with. But, as is always the case with me, I simply do not believe in conventions. So, if you let her know, that you indeed have a stake and that you might actually be thinking, then you have most likely shot yourself in the foot - or the heart. Yet, I choose not to hold myself back.

Foolish. I know. Stupid. I agree. Yet, can you find fault with either my intention or my intensity? Do those count ? I don't know. Someday, I hope it will. To the right person. If ever, there be one.

The other rule of the game is to hold the moment by the scruff and push it through. Never allow time to think. Apparently, it takes away the spontaneity and makes it a rational process rather than an instinctive one. And rational choices are hardly interesting choices. But choices nonetheless. Yet, I choose to allow time. For only if something stands the test of time, only then the exploration is worth it. Only then, would it be immenseley exciting to look at life and live.

Ridiculous. I would think so. Idiotic. Maybe. But will the wait ever be worth it ? Am I actually romanticizing something or is there an element of reality in it? For, the waits have always been long, agonizing, draining and ultimately futile.

The best part is a burnt lost finger can only heal. Otherwise it was already burnt.

Fortunate But Ungrateful

Life is unfair. Life is unjust. Life also has a way of balancing out the positives and the negatives. Sometimes, it becomes so arduous a task, that living itself is a cumbersome process. But, if you are to ruminate on a leisurely evening all by yourself and try to figure out whether life has been kind to you, the answers might throw you off-balance - completely.

This post is a product of such a ruminating and illuminating evening.

I have heard this many a time that we take the very obvious things for granted in life. We do. Like having the privilege of access to a sound education. Having the resources to pursue your dreams. Having a support system in the form of our parents. Almost getting everything that we have aspired for. Maybe not in time but eventually.

We forget that the absence of any one of them might create a situation which could have hampered and altered the course of our lives beyond imagination. We are not expected to win always. We should not. Or rather we cannot.

There are 2 ways of looking at our present state. What could have been if we were born in a better situation and likewise what could have been if we were born to the opposite? Just the harrowing prospect of the negatives of one compared to the opulence and comfort of the other will lead us to the conclusion that we are not that worse off in life.

So, when we think of our seeming failures or unsucessful attempts at many things in life which seem to be futile now, we curse our inability to make it happen. For we have in many cases seen people, who we think are undeserving, to have nearly got away with everything in life. The fallacy of the argument lies in the fact that we are no one to judge whether they are undeserving or deserving or whether what they have is what they wanted in life. Even if they did want and get them, it is only probabilistic that such aberrations will occur.

We should, ideally, judge by what makes us happy. More often, we judge ourselves by our peers. And even more, by the standards or parameters of success which our ever beloved society has ingrained in us. Owning a house, a car and a beautiful wife to name a few and in that order!A good life does not necessitate any of the above.

As typical humans we should try to find someone to shift the blame upon and crucify him. Once that is done and we have had our conscience satiated, we can safely go home thinking we have solved the problem, hardly realizing that we have only had a brush with the symptoms. Like all problems, the problem with aspirations, starts with the upbringing. Once you teach the child to work around the system and ask him to perform at every level, with minor considerations for what he wants, you have sown the seeds of near maniacal competitive spirit which stinks of a rat race.

The only thing we can and should teach our children would be the value of freedom and to be responsible for the consequences of the choices they make. For that, we first need to respect their choice. For that to happen, we first need to respect our own. For that, we have to have a liberal and fearless mind. And therein lies the problem. We are so sucked in, we are so self-congratulatory, we are so obsessed with being 'successful' that we are almost paranoid of failure. We do not provide for sufficient leeway for our children to fail for we know that in the final analysis it is going to hurt us more.