Tuesday, February 26, 2008

The Fabulous Five

India has already won the 2011 World Cup. Here is why:

MS Dhoni

The greatest captain India has ever had. That day he started India's bowling with Irfan Pathan and Sreesanth ! Now, if that is not a mark of ingenuity then what is ? I mean, have you ever even heard, let alone contemplated, of a captain starting the innings with his two premier fast bowlers ?! And wonder of all wonders, he even had 2 slips in the first five overs! So aggressive - after all that is what won him the T20.

Gautam Gambhir

India's next Sachin Tendulkar. He actually hits a delivery which is short and wide and deserves to be spanked on the backfoot and cuts it over point for a four. Mark of unhindered brilliance. Of course, he learnt it in his T20 days when he played "without fear". In case you are wondering how Sunny Gavaskar played his game - he was afraid. Dead scared. Remember, his fear got the better of him and he could only score 36* in 60 overs. Ah, the other 10,000 does not count for much. Only that 36 is sufficient for crucification.

Rohit Sharma

India's next Sachin Tendulkar. Oops ! We cannot be THAT lucky ?! Two Tendulkars in one team. Sorry, 3 including the 'real' Tendulkar. Then, we have 3 best batsmen in our team. And I cannot see the requirement of any other batter in the team at all. Ask Ravi Shastri, he will ask you to play 7 bowlers with them. Ohh, Ian Chappell says that Rohit is a combination of Sachin and Lara. Wow ! Now, I know what 2-in-1 means !

Ishant Sharma

Had it been the British media, by now, he would have been hailed as the next Ian Botham. Funny, why no one has compared him to Kapil Dev, till now. Ohh, could be because he is better than him. See, he is quicker than Kapil and he is able to lift it up(the ball, I mean!) from just short of a length (Ravi Shastri says it). Plus, Ricky Ponting is his bunny. And considering that Ricky is one of the best in business, Ishant has to be better than Kapil. Kapil never had Richards as a bunny, you see.

Yuvaraj Singh

India's best test player. He should be drafted into the team at the cost of Rahul or Sourav or even Sachin. Blasphemy you would say ? Naah. He is such a sweet timer, he is at the form of his life and his FIELDING ! Dear o dear, how can you not have someone in the team if he saves you 15 runs ? Even if that is his collective score in 6 test innings ? We are focussing on the future and youth is the future.


Err, just a question. How old is Manmohan Singh and L.K.Advani? Chuck them, NOW. And make Sachin Pilot the standing-in-PM. Or Rahul Gandhi. Shucks ! Our obsession with Rahul and Sachin is just not limited to cricket!

6 comments:

SRK said...

how could you forget Irfan Pathan, the greatest all rounder that the world has seen?

he can bowl out the opposition with his new found (or rediscovered?) swing, bat at number 3, and even make the girls in the stand go crazy...

i'll ensure the Minority Commission comes to throw stones at you for excluding their shining star in this list...

spiderman! said...

SRK:

Apologies for missing out on him, if "I have offended the sensibilities of the people" !

liveyourdreams said...

the remark linking irfan pathan and the minority commission was really uncalled for, in an otherwise good satire

SRK said...

@PD:
er, PD, I shudn't be arguin in someone else's blog comments space, but i'll take liberty since it is hirok...

the Minority Commission thing was part of the satire... a slap in the face of all those buggers who try to find or create religious differences even in a united team...

sob, no one gets my PJs and satire nowadays :(((

P said...

Hurrah! Finally all that dripping sarcasm has been put to good use :)

Anonymous said...

the one thing i dont get sarcastic about is my team... a lot of the people here ( i refer only to spidey) would ve written of this team after the oldies were sent packing in january for the ODI's against australia...

i dont care if 2011 is ours or not ..but the greatest shorter version cricket team in the fkin world is ours!!! i do not take argument to this very kindly...

minority or not irfan pathan won us a world cup.. captain or not MSD is one of the greatest leaders in India today.. refer finals of the IPL whr chennai huddled even after losing..and any one who saw rohit sharma play would not question the fact that we have a genuine chance of not missing the great sachin tendulkar when he leaves....

India does best when nobody expects us to do well .. nuthing spurs our cricket team on than the collective sarcasm of our nation..

so i beseec you thus.. go throw ur stones..crack ur jokes..the more of u that are there the happier ill be...for then well have a real chance of comin back with the trophy in 2011


Tushar Cherian