Monday, September 22, 2008

If you are in love with a

13 year old: Tell your friends. Specially the ones which cannot keep a secret. Let all know that you like that girl. If they are half their worth of salt they will tease the hell out of you. And when 'she' asks you to confirm or deny the rumours - DENY. But keep continuing to do what you did. At some point of time she will understand and in her own quirky way will ask you again. That is your time.

16 year old: Whatever you do, just don't be nice. That is a tag which would put you on the same table of untouchables. Be an absolute chauvinistic moron. In all likelihood, you will land up impressing the stupidest of bimbettes - one undeniably hot but undoubtedly worth exploring. If you are already in the knowhow to explore, that is.

20 year old: At that age, whoever kicks first wins. If ever she gets the idea that you ARE there and that you will be there then its over. It has finished even before it has begun. She must know that you are CAPABLE of being there but she is not sure whether you would WANT to be there. The winning strategy is to project the perception that you simply do not care while in effect it might be the ONLY thing you care about! And if by 22 you still have not made it - forget it.

24 year old: If you have not had her at 'hi', then start looking elsewhere. Okay, maybe not at 'hi'. If she banks on you, if yours is the shoulder she leans on, if you are the one she spends maximum time with and if every one of your friends think that you two are going around and you FEEL in your guts that you are the 'one',trust me, you are anything BUT the one. Most likely on a coffee date on a beautiful, bright, luscious evening, she is going to open her heart only to reveal 'that' cute guy's name and HIS adorable, measured adulation that she so craves for.

28 year old: Just show her the dollars. Potential or realized! Or look like Shah Rukh Khan.

12 comments:

SRK said...

ah, the Guru has spoken...

R. Anand said...

ok... got the msg... i am scrooooooooooooooooooooooooddd !!!

Anonymous said...

What abt ppl who have fallen in love with 30+ yr olds.. ?

Stambhit said...

I understood the bottom line.. In fact now there is neither bottom nor top line..

But what happens to those minorities who fall outside this target group? In any case in India 68 boys are scroooooooooooddd out of every 1000 guys (check recent census).. What happens to those who crossed 29????

spiderman! said...

Heman! and Stambhit:

Just give me one more year and I will get back to you about the requirements of a 30 year old woman.

And ideally I would strongly advise a 29 year old man to fall in love. Its too tiring and cumbersome !

Unknown said...

and what about falling in love with 27-year-olds?

spiderman! said...

Haimanti:

Errr...its not exactly that the equations change annually. Maybe over a period of 4-5 years, the requirements of a woman change and hence the 4 year gaps.

Roshan Panjwani said...

What is the sample size and target group of your research that has given such insight :P

spiderman! said...

Roshan:

This is based on hearsay and personal experience. No surveys !

Just call me 'A' said...

hi, passing by. intrigued by the subject line and stopped to read. the 13 and 16 age bracket sounds a lot like an american teen movie. but you might have something on the 20, 24, 28 bracket :)

A

spiderman! said...

A:

Consulting in NY! Thats cool...Yeah, I know, most women have agreed on the 24 and 28 part...

Scribbler :) said...

I am only a few years away from being 28...and No, I am not(nor the other 28-yr-olds that I know) attracted to the shaded-jeansed-orange haired-green spectacled-silver wristleted-'sss'tongued SRK look-alikes that roam around in Esplanade.
But I do agree with you about the 'dollars'!