Happy Birthday
Yeah, I am so happy that my parents screwed 9 months 9 days before this day as a result of which I have been exposed to the wonderful drudgeries of the gift called 'life' and every year I am expected to spend money treating friends just to be reminded that I have slowly but surely taken one more step towards the grave.
Congratulations ! (On marriage)
This is a classical case where people actually think that it is the best day of their lives. Because the society formally accepts you and your partner and gives their consent to start the process of procreation for the survival of the human race. On top of it, you spend a fortune living up to the standards of marriage set up by society again. Moreover, you have to look at your brilliant best - unmindful of the fact that if you look like shit, there isn't much you can do about it except look like an adorned better shit ! I am discounting the constant negative cash flow which you are going to incur for the rest of your lives. For what?
Loooooooooooooooovvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeee....!
Congratulations ! (On attaining parenthood)
YESSSSSSSSSS ! I have finally proved to the world that I am able bodied. Not only that, I have again performed up to the expectations of the world at large and saved the mankind from possible extinction.
Happy Anniversary
Celebration of the fact that we have stayed together for 'x' number of years without cutting each other to pieces. So, again I spend more money, first on each other, mouthing mushy romantics and then on friends showing them a glimpse of our lives seeped in love.
Thank You (On attending marriages)
Whats so big and significant about attending a marriage ? I mean, I know its a special day in your life and I am truly happy for it. But if I cannot make it, well, then I cannot. Anyways, the betrothal of the bride does not depend on me ! Again, to attend your marriage, I get to spend, first on air tickets and then on brainstorming to figure out what gift would be ideal for you to remember me. As if, that would be the only thing for which you will remember me ! If it is, then please don't bother. Just throw me away at the nearest trash can. Anyways, your remembering me hardly makes my life any easier.
So in all of the cases, whenever you are happy or you feel that you are happy, you have to spend money. And in buckets. Because nowadays, happiness is measured in buckets.
Disclaimer: Not intended for anyone in particular. General thoughts.
9 comments:
Some people can spread messages of happiness spontaneously... on impulse...
others, like me, need some occasion :)
why grudge us our chance?
Vijay:
I am not asking you not to be happy. Be happy but let others be at peace and let there be some bit of objectivity and rationality in our demands.
hello, i didn't 'demand' that u host a budday party, tht u hv a lavish wedding, tht celebrate ur anniversary by inviting a truckload of ppl...
who demands tht u spend in buckets? not me...
Oooh, caustic, caustic! But really, now, maybe happiness is not just about the buckets of money? Maybe the thank you-s would have come any which way without the cash flow? Or the happy anniversary would make someone happy, just so? It's only a thought, really...
Fortunata:
Equally if not more caustic !
our parents (and theirs) dint need no anniversary celebs to reaffirm that they have been (and are) happily married. we (south asians) are married for life (or seven lives) then why the fuss about completing a few years. Celebrating anniversaries looks like we doubted it in the first place that we would ever remain together for so long! stupid western mumbo-jumbo, hah!!!
Pd:
People celebrate stuff which seems to be difficult to achieve. The concept of an anniversary - of spending one year together is an achievement of sorts to the western world. For us, its a given.
But then, now, its more about HOW you celebrate than WHAT you celebrate.
@ PD:
huh? double huh?
Why do we celebrate Independence Day? bcoz we doubted tht we wud continue to remain free...
Why do we celebrate Ganesh Chathurthi? bcoz we doubted that the elephant god will live that long?
Why do we celebrate Diwali? bcoz we doubted tht Lord Ram will ever return to Ayodhya?
or are all these western conspiracies too?
@SRK,
Western conspiracies? where do u infer that from? 'mumbo-jumbo' does not mean 'conspiracies'.
as for other examples that you put like Ganesh Chaturthi & Diwali, well they are some examples of Indian mumbo-jumbos.
Odd that people who profess God to be almighty celebrate when God defeats some sort of Satan. Isnt the result obvious?
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