When it comes to waxing eloquence, chances are you won't find anyone better than the inexplicable creation called women. And exactly on similar veins, when it comes to handing out a reality check in vague,indistinct euphemistical terms there is no competition to them as well.
Harry Belafonte had a song dedicated to this "The woman is smarter than the man in every way". Wonder what made him realize that. The poor guy, I doubt, hardly had an inclination that he had stumbled upon a cosmic truth. And we think our ancient sages had all the answers.
The last two existing bachelors of our JU group has had a bagful of experiences when it comes to marriage. One has left the field in sheer exasperation while the other continues to fight as he has been doing all through his life with no signs of abatement on any front. The list of experiences listed here is definitely not exhaustive but indicative. Of what ?
Girl: You have such a charming sense of humour....
Guy: Will you marry me?
Girl: You are an awesome guy BUT you see after careful consideration of the chemistry we enjoy and I assure you that it is something which I have never enjoyed with another, I have come to the conclusion that we should not go beyond this...
Girl: You are an excellent person and you deserve all the happiness in the world. In fact if I were to sum up the collective happiness that this world has to offer, you would deserve more than that.
Guy: Will you marry me?
Girl:You are an awesome guy BUT I do not think I can be happy with you. I mean, I want someone who is chivalrous and polished and could really make me happy, you know...
Girl: You are so witty and educated and you have such an awesome career...
Guy: Will you marry me?
Girl: You are an awesome guy BUT things did not turn out the way I expected when we met. I expected sparks to fly and the sky to applaud in its resplendent glory and rainbows to add to the brilliance. But you felt sleepy and tired. Okay, you had a 14 hour bus journey, but so what ? You cannot be allowed to be tired. Not when you are with me.
Girl: You are one of the nicest persons I have met. There are lots of reasons for marrying you.
Guy: Will you marry me?
Girl: You are an awesome guy BUT when I said that there are lots of reasons for marrying you, I really meant that there are exactly that many for NOT marrying you. I wish you all the very best in life and may you find the Cinderella of your dreams with her shoes intact for life.
Girl: You talk so well. That is such an endearing quality. Women would secretly desire you but might be unnerved by your extrovert nature lest it attracts others bees to the nectar!
Guy: Will you marry me?
Girl: You are an awesome guy BUT I think I need to think a bit more. At this moment, my priority in life is to think about my career and my aspiration is to be married to someone who will pamper me, fulfil all my desires without me having to spell it out - basically someone like my Dad!
Girl: You are so funny. The conversations with you has been mindblowing to say the least. Your wife will be one of the luckiest persons.
Guy: Will you marry me?
Girl: You are an awesome guy BUT the stars foretell trouble. When I matched your horroscope with mine, they said there was an explosion. In Baghdad. Our horroscope score came out to be 28 while mine with another prospective suitor was 32! Now, it does not require mathematical genius to know that 32>28.
Girl: You are such a brilliant guy. I think we should seriously think about us.
Guy: Will you marry me?
Girl: You are an awesome guy BUT I don't think that you are sincere enough in your attitude towards me. You actually went ahead with your trip which you had planned with your friends about THREE months before meeting me?!! Of course, you should have cancelled that and danced to my tunes. You had the audacity to think that you are the Pied Piper ?!
On the basis of the statistical evidence at hand, the two bachelors individually were forced to discover another cosmic truth:
"I am an awesome guy...BUT"
Crucial Disclaimer: The bachelors in question so far has never popped the question. But the answers came nonetheless.
16 comments:
This was a hilarious post! You must have made up some of the answers (at least you must have exaggerated)...some seem highly improbable. But if these were the real (and unprovoked too...as you have claimed) answers then the two bachelors mentioned should consider themselves lucky that they did not end up being with such quirks (some...not all) for the rest of their lives.
hahaha...hilariously sad :)
Shit! I thought you were actually proposing to someone on your blog and hurried here for the spicy details :(
on a different note, some dude married 14 women, all through the matrimonial websites... trying hard not to explicitly pun on the hindi 14...
mebbe it is time you applied for a job in AI :)
Tanima:
Yeah, the bachelors are lucky besides being awesome guys !
Sribbler:
Or sadly hilarious ?
SRK:
ME ?! Where did I come into the picture ? ;)
a hilarious post...made me wish it was a bit longer though..
an awesome post BUT..
a hilarious post...made me wish it was a bit longer though..
an awesome post BUT..
Here's the MCP interpretation/adaptation of the "The seven sayings of Jesus on the cross; Luke 23:34"
"Father(Hirok) forgive them, for they know not what they do".
;-)
Snake:
Hahahhaha...an awesome comment BUT...
Sourav:
I always forgive :) BUT they DO know what they are doing - of that I could not be surer.
And how could you miss like "We are friends, probably the best of buddies..but THAT is missing between us (what the heck is THAT, if she only knew!!)" Or the one "I have never thought about THAT". At least she could have said I WILL think about THAT :), little ray of hope at least...
BTW, I just realize all the awesome qualities that those different women mention here(before the guy pops the question), can be found collectively in you..is this coincidence :P?
Mustaf:
No, those reactions would not be applicable for arranged marriages.
Coincidences do happen but not in this case :)
But you are "so funny"!
did u miss this one?
you are an awesome guy BUT i have never heard of the company you work in...
now i guess your tides will turn... :)
Ranga:
The women never had an issue with where I work - they are only concerned with my CTC. Its their dads who had issues with that.
Oi looks like you didn't ask the right women;).I'll send you an email with the questions/concerns guys raise when a woman pops the question(well maybe not her, but her parents pop the question to his parents, an arrangement a.k.a arranged marriage).Trust me, it's no less entertaining!Excellent post:-)
Debi:
I will be waiting for your e-mail, for sure.
And as far as popping the question, I have not done it yet to anyone about whom I have talked of here.
Good one :)
what happens if that's the other way round? Ask me...
yeah guys on the other end don't need me to earn in millions but of course their standard seems to be quite high when they judge me by my height! which makes me wonder who coined that term "good things come in small packages"! top it all a journalist would definitely be a wild girl :) dude pictures the same everywhere!
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