Mark and Steve did not have an illustrious father. Thankfully, the same cannot be said of us. It has taken me a pretty long time to understand that of the three men in our family, given a different time and space, he would undoubtedly be the most successful considering that he is the most talented and definitely the most intelligent.
It took me about five and a half lakhs and two years to understand credit crunch and derivatives (I still don't though!). It took him possibly a little more than half an hour to conceptually understand both. He was never a doting father but one with whom I never had a problem communicating. Contrary to my mother, with whom I can never seem to be on the same plane, he was simply outstanding. Precise, to the point, utterly pragmatic and truly objective, conversations with him would range from being enlightening to stupendously enjoyable. My girlfriends, much to my chagrin, always pointed out that I could never have the sense of humour he has. And reluctantly, I have to agree.
It is said that who you are is a function of what you have done and how. If I take that to be true, then there cannot be a better role model to emulate. Coming from a financially dire background and making it through to the IIT by winning scholarships all through an excellent academic career without the luxuries we enjoyed would surely qualify as exceptional. Add to that a mix of the ability to paint, ability to take photos, ability to radically energize a gathering by sheer wit and you have nothing except a genius who is totally oblivious of it.
As far as his effect on my life is concerned, sons are expected to be better versions of the father. Maybe not as much accomplished but surely better as human beings. Whether I make that cut or not will be a question time will answer. But the fact that I am not exactly a boring company to be with or the fact that I have seen what it is like to start from a modest beginning and make it good or to be positive about things and never lose the practical element of life can be attributed to him.
Never the one to dish out unnecessary advice but always there should you need one, never once intruding upon personal space - in fact, encouraging us to have one, never for once imposing anything or burdeninig me with his expectations and always being supportive by tacitly trusting my ability when there was no evidence that it could be - I could not have expected a better support base. I vividly remember an incident when after my pre-board exams, where I was pummelled by all subjects, I was sitting disappointed having lunch and he casually came to have a glass of water after his siesta and said "It will be alright, not to worry". And he went off. Whatever self-doubt or lack of confidence I had was put to rest. Not for that fleeting second. But for life.
The only logic to faith is love. He had that in plenty. As I try to make sense of this utterly nonsensical life today and I see the same intensity of life and passion in him I am stunned by what an incredibly outstanding human being I had the opportunity to witness in my formative years. Whether I do justice to his legacy or not and whether I finally live up to being a worthy son, the pure joy of being associated by lineage to him was worth it.
If only I had a bit more of that intelligence and talent...
Monday, July 06, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Wisdom or Cliche
I received a forward from one of my friends which listed down the dos and donts from a lady who is 93 years old. Here are my responses to those:
1. Life isn't fair,but it's still good.
If its not fair, then by extension, it has to be unfair. If it is unfair, then surely you have got a raw deal somewhere. Then how is it good?
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
Precisely the question. The fact that you are in DOUBT, implies that you ARE hesitant in taking the next step - big or small.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...
Hating does not require time. Come to think of it, sometimes it can act as a trigger.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
I thought you need to pay the hospital bills ? Or are you from Cuba, where healthcare is free.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
Agreed.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
You get angry with things which exist.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck..
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
Agreed again.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
With some, I have. And frankly, the comparison is inevitable. That is the basis of all progress.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret,you shouldn't be in it.
On the contrary, ensure you are in it. There is nothing like perverse pleasure.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
Neither does a stone.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
If only it was THAT easy!
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful,beautiful or joyful.
How about bad memories?
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
The question is what is the price you are paying for it?
19.. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
Let me finish my first!
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
I hardly do, but sometimes there are no choices.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special..
Exactly why ? Because the sun shines and I am alive ? Please...come up with a better line.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
Sounds good.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
This is what happens when you don't use the organs for which they are meant for !
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
The greatest bullshit ever given. At 90, though, I will say the same thing, I am sure.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words'In five years, will this matter?
In five years, nothing might matter. I might be dead in the next five minutes.
27. Always choose life.
Death was never a choice anyway. Are there other options ?
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
Yes.I know.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
That, my dear Watson, is precisely the problem.
33. Believe in miracles.
I will, the day one happens to me.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
WOW !! That almost nearly made me feel ecstatic. Send me his mailing address. I will put in a letter of gratitude.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
Utterly useless statements.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
So did I. So ?
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
No, all that matters is that whether it came to something or not. Your actions is NOT independent of another.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
Where ? Where ?
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back.
This I would totally agree with. Though its a bit like saying that since there is hunger in this world, I should not celebrate.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
How I wish !
42. The best is yet to come.
We all keep hoping that and spend our lives on that premise. There is nothing called 'best' really. Finally, its a relative superlative.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
I do.
44. Yield.
Only if it appeals to my rationality. Not otherwise. Not in this lifetime at least.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
From God - right ?!!!!
1. Life isn't fair,but it's still good.
If its not fair, then by extension, it has to be unfair. If it is unfair, then surely you have got a raw deal somewhere. Then how is it good?
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
Precisely the question. The fact that you are in DOUBT, implies that you ARE hesitant in taking the next step - big or small.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...
Hating does not require time. Come to think of it, sometimes it can act as a trigger.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
I thought you need to pay the hospital bills ? Or are you from Cuba, where healthcare is free.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
Agreed.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
You get angry with things which exist.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck..
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
Agreed again.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
With some, I have. And frankly, the comparison is inevitable. That is the basis of all progress.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret,you shouldn't be in it.
On the contrary, ensure you are in it. There is nothing like perverse pleasure.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
Neither does a stone.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
If only it was THAT easy!
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful,beautiful or joyful.
How about bad memories?
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
The question is what is the price you are paying for it?
19.. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
Let me finish my first!
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
I hardly do, but sometimes there are no choices.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special..
Exactly why ? Because the sun shines and I am alive ? Please...come up with a better line.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
Sounds good.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
This is what happens when you don't use the organs for which they are meant for !
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
The greatest bullshit ever given. At 90, though, I will say the same thing, I am sure.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words'In five years, will this matter?
In five years, nothing might matter. I might be dead in the next five minutes.
27. Always choose life.
Death was never a choice anyway. Are there other options ?
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
Yes.I know.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
That, my dear Watson, is precisely the problem.
33. Believe in miracles.
I will, the day one happens to me.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
WOW !! That almost nearly made me feel ecstatic. Send me his mailing address. I will put in a letter of gratitude.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
Utterly useless statements.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
So did I. So ?
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
No, all that matters is that whether it came to something or not. Your actions is NOT independent of another.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
Where ? Where ?
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back.
This I would totally agree with. Though its a bit like saying that since there is hunger in this world, I should not celebrate.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
How I wish !
42. The best is yet to come.
We all keep hoping that and spend our lives on that premise. There is nothing called 'best' really. Finally, its a relative superlative.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
I do.
44. Yield.
Only if it appeals to my rationality. Not otherwise. Not in this lifetime at least.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
From God - right ?!!!!
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