I received a forward from one of my friends which listed down the dos and donts from a lady who is 93 years old. Here are my responses to those:
1. Life isn't fair,but it's still good.
If its not fair, then by extension, it has to be unfair. If it is unfair, then surely you have got a raw deal somewhere. Then how is it good?
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
Precisely the question. The fact that you are in DOUBT, implies that you ARE hesitant in taking the next step - big or small.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...
Hating does not require time. Come to think of it, sometimes it can act as a trigger.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
I thought you need to pay the hospital bills ? Or are you from Cuba, where healthcare is free.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
Agreed.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
You get angry with things which exist.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck..
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
Agreed again.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
With some, I have. And frankly, the comparison is inevitable. That is the basis of all progress.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret,you shouldn't be in it.
On the contrary, ensure you are in it. There is nothing like perverse pleasure.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
Neither does a stone.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
If only it was THAT easy!
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful,beautiful or joyful.
How about bad memories?
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
The question is what is the price you are paying for it?
19.. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
Let me finish my first!
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
I hardly do, but sometimes there are no choices.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special..
Exactly why ? Because the sun shines and I am alive ? Please...come up with a better line.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
Sounds good.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
This is what happens when you don't use the organs for which they are meant for !
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
The greatest bullshit ever given. At 90, though, I will say the same thing, I am sure.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words'In five years, will this matter?
In five years, nothing might matter. I might be dead in the next five minutes.
27. Always choose life.
Death was never a choice anyway. Are there other options ?
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
Yes.I know.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
That, my dear Watson, is precisely the problem.
33. Believe in miracles.
I will, the day one happens to me.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
WOW !! That almost nearly made me feel ecstatic. Send me his mailing address. I will put in a letter of gratitude.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
Utterly useless statements.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
So did I. So ?
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
No, all that matters is that whether it came to something or not. Your actions is NOT independent of another.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
Where ? Where ?
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back.
This I would totally agree with. Though its a bit like saying that since there is hunger in this world, I should not celebrate.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
How I wish !
42. The best is yet to come.
We all keep hoping that and spend our lives on that premise. There is nothing called 'best' really. Finally, its a relative superlative.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
I do.
44. Yield.
Only if it appeals to my rationality. Not otherwise. Not in this lifetime at least.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
From God - right ?!!!!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Sunday, May 31, 2009
A Defining Moment
Let us for the sake of political correctness call the two women 'A' and 'B'. This was about 10 years back. It is funny how incidents such as these play a significant part in shaping the emotive traits in a character.
I was supposedly in love with B. It was a time when my infamous rationality had gone for a toss. In fact, as I think back, I hardly thought. There is this manic obsession one is consumed with when one thinks one is in love. And I was no exception. 'A' was my friend. A very dear one. Someone with whom I go back a long way. 'A' and 'B' were classmates. One fine afternoon, a very fine one indeed, considering the events to follow, I got a call. From B.
"Are you free now ? Could we meet and just go around for some time ?". For a brief moment, I thought my heart would stop. Just stop. Here was I, always waiting for such a call to go out, with HER and in the web of my dreams had pictured such an outing to near perfection and lo behold, I do get one such invitation ! Who says, miracles happen only in fairytales ? I stuttered and composed myself and asked "Yeah, sure, you alone ?". The basis of the question was my earlier experiences with 'B', wherein, she would consciously avoid being with me all by herself. This, in spite of the fact, that I was hopelessly decent with women and pathetically harmless. The answer was a cryptic "Yes, who else would be there?" to which I promptly asked her to wait wherever she was and assured her that I would get there in about 10 minutes.
During this short walk to the agreed destination, I had all sorts of questions in my mind. I was so excited that I was actually amused. Amused at the effect a ridiculous 'date' could have on me. But behind all of this, lurked a sneaky feeling - "Why on earth would she suddenly call ME?" and that too after steadfastly refusing to even walk 5 metres with me ever. I reached there on time. It would not have been even a minute when out of the blue 'A' appeared, from behind with a glorious and slightly sly interesting smile. I was shocked to see her there. Then I saw B approaching from the other side of the road with a knowing sickening smile towards A.
It took a minute for it to sink in. The first thought that struck me was "Shit, they planned it!".
I do not know whether it was at that moment that I understood what having fun at the expense of someone else meant. And whether I did start appreciating emotions much more from that point on. I have thought of it many a time and have never come to a definite answer as to why one of your closest friends would do this for the heck of it. For B, well, maybe, maybe when you know that there is one who would be there to answer to your beck and call, or rather, when you know that you have a power over another, a power so strong that it is capable of controlling the other without wielding any sort of authority over the other, possibly the human tendency is to sometimes test it out. Just for fun. Which does not make the action forgivable. But to an extent would surely justify it.
For A, it was unforgivable. It still is. Vivian Leigh has this line in "A Streetcar Named Desire" where she says "Intentional cruelty can never be forgiven". On the money, I would say. But just that with time, hurt heals and we become wiser. With time, we also come to the inescapable conclusion that it all evens out. Where and when are just matters of detail. So it best not to forget but always to forgive.
The dilemma is that sometimes you hardly want things to even out - just because they are friends. Even at your own expense. Even at the expense of a dignity compromised and a loss of self-respect.
I was supposedly in love with B. It was a time when my infamous rationality had gone for a toss. In fact, as I think back, I hardly thought. There is this manic obsession one is consumed with when one thinks one is in love. And I was no exception. 'A' was my friend. A very dear one. Someone with whom I go back a long way. 'A' and 'B' were classmates. One fine afternoon, a very fine one indeed, considering the events to follow, I got a call. From B.
"Are you free now ? Could we meet and just go around for some time ?". For a brief moment, I thought my heart would stop. Just stop. Here was I, always waiting for such a call to go out, with HER and in the web of my dreams had pictured such an outing to near perfection and lo behold, I do get one such invitation ! Who says, miracles happen only in fairytales ? I stuttered and composed myself and asked "Yeah, sure, you alone ?". The basis of the question was my earlier experiences with 'B', wherein, she would consciously avoid being with me all by herself. This, in spite of the fact, that I was hopelessly decent with women and pathetically harmless. The answer was a cryptic "Yes, who else would be there?" to which I promptly asked her to wait wherever she was and assured her that I would get there in about 10 minutes.
During this short walk to the agreed destination, I had all sorts of questions in my mind. I was so excited that I was actually amused. Amused at the effect a ridiculous 'date' could have on me. But behind all of this, lurked a sneaky feeling - "Why on earth would she suddenly call ME?" and that too after steadfastly refusing to even walk 5 metres with me ever. I reached there on time. It would not have been even a minute when out of the blue 'A' appeared, from behind with a glorious and slightly sly interesting smile. I was shocked to see her there. Then I saw B approaching from the other side of the road with a knowing sickening smile towards A.
It took a minute for it to sink in. The first thought that struck me was "Shit, they planned it!".
I do not know whether it was at that moment that I understood what having fun at the expense of someone else meant. And whether I did start appreciating emotions much more from that point on. I have thought of it many a time and have never come to a definite answer as to why one of your closest friends would do this for the heck of it. For B, well, maybe, maybe when you know that there is one who would be there to answer to your beck and call, or rather, when you know that you have a power over another, a power so strong that it is capable of controlling the other without wielding any sort of authority over the other, possibly the human tendency is to sometimes test it out. Just for fun. Which does not make the action forgivable. But to an extent would surely justify it.
For A, it was unforgivable. It still is. Vivian Leigh has this line in "A Streetcar Named Desire" where she says "Intentional cruelty can never be forgiven". On the money, I would say. But just that with time, hurt heals and we become wiser. With time, we also come to the inescapable conclusion that it all evens out. Where and when are just matters of detail. So it best not to forget but always to forgive.
The dilemma is that sometimes you hardly want things to even out - just because they are friends. Even at your own expense. Even at the expense of a dignity compromised and a loss of self-respect.
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