My FilmFare Acceptance Speech

I would like to thank:

Filmfare, for supporting the trashiest awards ceremony the world has ever known or will ever know - one that panders to general opinion, based on pure escapism of the highest order, where quality or excellence is measured in currency, where how much you make is more important than what you make and where crony nepotism is the sureshot way to fame.

Yash'ji' (and Pam 'Aunty'- it is fashionable to mention her name with his) for giving us timeless classics full of intensity and passion, for bringing together some of the best talent in the film world and extracting mind blowing performances from them and then thrashing everything he had created earlier to make huge money spinners without a soul, without a story and mindless cliches. Just to let us know that it is indeed possible to dive into the depths of alarming mediocrity from a plane of excellence.

Karan Johar, for showing us the talent he has and letting us know in the same breath that he will never do justice to it.

Shah Rukh Khan, for taking on roles considered to be graveyards for heroes, for defying every stereotype that was there in the industry at that time, for making a success of his marriage amidst the heaps of broken ones all around him, for breaking the shackles imposed by the burden of being a superstar and then methodically, consciously undoing each and every one of them so painstakingly built. For frittering away the opportunity of a lifetime to bring about a paradigm shift in the business of making films in India.

Abhishek Bachchan, for showing that it is possible to leverage one's career, first through one's father, then the mother and then the wife. For proving again and again, that in our nation unworthy sons make absolute fools of illustrious parents, for proving
that in the CV, the surname matters more than the matter that rests in it. For landing up with plum roles inspite of being the greatest dud ever. Well, apologies, he did beat his father to one record at least. The most number of flops before a hit.

Hrithik Roshan, for using his lineage judiciously and making it count on his own merit every time. For just showing that hard work might actually make up for a perceptible lack of talent to an extent. For showing that humility does have a wonderful charm.

Kareena Kapoor, for putting to shame the legacy left behind by Raj, Shammi, Shashi and Rishi - all very competent actors of their times simply by her expressionless acting and horrendous selection of roles. For confirming the notion that great genes do not necessarily translate to greatness in reality.

Ram Gopal Varma, for being the most maverick filmmaker of our times. For never being afraid to try out new things, most of them utterly crappy, yet never shied away from trying. For giving horror a new dimension, for gloryfying and humanising the dreaded underworld and for screwing every awards ceremony that India offers.

Aamir Khan, for never attending this awards ceremony and for calling their bluff and surviving inspite of being at loggerheads with the powers that be.

My cast, crew all other support staff for making a film which none of us should be proud of, purely because here I am on stage receiving an award from the most farcical institution, if it could be called that, through a process of selection which is anything but transparent or credible from a bunch of people whose only claim to fame is to sit on the fence and applaud greatness and never make an attempt to achieve it.